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Thanks! That worked. Before I wasn't able to change the setting because I went right to disabling the service itself through services.msc.@couttsj: the shield was showing up even with the service off and disabled. I don't know what service does the tray icon notification thing but it's not wscsvc (Security Center) unless Windows is lying to me and running a disabled service anyway.
That's a new one on me. I have never seen the Security Shield because it is almost the first thing that I disabled (lesson learned from XP). But then again, I am not using any of Microsoft's security features (they are all disabled). It could be that the firewall itself is able to trigger the notification. You can tell what services are running at any time using the Task Manager (right click in open space on the task bar).
Turn the service and the security center back on. Reboot. Now the option will be available for you to change how it alerts you. Now tell it not to notify you, then turn the security system off and go and disable the service.Spawn
I think you're right. I know Windows Firewall has a bad rap but after realizing Vista added outbound protection, giving the option "Outbound connections that do not match a rule are blocked" (off by default, of course, courtesy of MS), I decided to stick with it. Making custom rules isn't that user-friendly, but once you figure out how to do this it's not bad.